Patriotism: love for or devotion to one's country

I excerpted this definition from Merriam -Webster Dictionary online.

Love and devotion for one's country should not be hard for us. I am sure, all the people of this world love their respective countries with as much zeal and fervor. Therefore, I sometimes find it odd that we keep up coming with different perspectives on patriotism, or maybe it is just Patriotism in the plain light, as we like to see it. I am truly befuddled by this definition of Patriotism. I love my country. I am devoted to my country, although not as much as I would like to be.

I have been living in the US for the last decade pursuing a fool's dream. Many times, I feel like the proverbial dog of the washer man, who keeps lingering on the choice between the true homes. I am from Chicago. I am from Nepal. When someone asks me, "Where are you from?" I interject," Nepal," even if I feel home in Chicago.  And I feel alienated from Nepal. In the perceptions, I do not believe in the boundaries of countries and race, but I believe in people. There are only two kinds of people. Good People and bad people. But suddenly it does not matter. What matters is one’s heritage, one’s legacy! Our heritage and our legacy: our recognition. Nepal.

I recall an incident that occurred in one of the Nepalese function. It was a Nepalese New Year gala in Chicago. I was in the lobby waiting for my friends. A young man in his early twenties was at the door, checking the stamps of admittance. And few of girls were at the reception, sorting the tickets and welcoming the guests. As I was loitering around, I heard the MC hit on the microphone and start addressing the group of people already in the hall. As we could clearly hear in the lobby too, the MC was speaking in English. Upon hearing that, the doorman not so gently shouted, “Expletive! Nepali ma bol!” I felt proud of his love for our language.  I felt proud for his respect for the women in the crowd. Then, I came to know, patriotism is when we speak Nepali. I speak six languages fluently. And Nepali is the least I speak the whole working day. I felt so belittled that day. And I hear people go insane and speak in front of the mirror in Nepali because there is not a single soul to speak Nepali to. So, I guess I am not a patriot.

I do not miss Nepal. I miss my home and family though. But I guess that does not count me a patriot. I have heard people say, “Thank God I am not a Nepali”, in Nepali. I do not know what to make of it. That I should be proud or ashamed! Ashamed, I am not. But I am not proud either. I have not contributed anything to my country, except for one MIA citizen in the census. But I am proud of myself, what I could not do in Nepal, I am doing in the US. There are 30 million others living in Nepal. I am no better than them, but I am not any worse either. If I were in Nepal, I would just be the same as I am here, only more frustrated and negative. If that makes me less patriot, so be it. Because I believe, if you are happy, the world becomes only a better place to live in.

PS: All of that is my personal opinion on things as sensitive as such. It is one-sided and narrow, I hate to admit it , but that is my reality. I hope you will identify with it, and add more insight to my bigoted beliefs. As I like to say, "Bigotry is the true mirror to self." I hope my sarcasm does not offend some of you. My sincere apologies if it does.