Posted by: Heartbeat December 16, 2007
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The physical journey that I traverse is a journey of the soul, transport of the self from a fatherland to a country collected by sight and mind, the knowledge that sweats from it is a stranger's knowledge, from one who has learnt to see, think and choose between the changing realities.
It's true I have growled at my mother and grandmother but only after having told of my predicament that they have never brought to reason. The wife that I began to love in my loneliness, in the country that alienated me, they took to their predecisions. I have not entirely returned, I know, having been changed by time and place, coarsened by problems estranged by absence.
But look, I have brought myself home, seasoned by confidence, broadened by land and languages, I am no longer afraid of the oceans or the differences between people, not easily fooled by word or ideas. The journey was a loyal teacher who was never tardy in explaining cultures or variousness. Look, I am just like you, still malay, sensitive to what I believe is good, and more ready to understand than my brothers. The contents of these boats are yours too because I have returned.
Travels made me a seeker who does not take what is given without sincerity or that which demands payments from beliefs. The years at sea and coastal states have taught me to choose, to accept only those tested by comparison, or that which matches the words of my ancestors, which returns me to my village and its perfection.
I've learnt the ways of the rude to hold reality in a new logic, debate with hard and loud facts, but I too am humble, respecting man and life.
I am not a new man, not very different from you; the people and cities of coastal ports taught me not to brood over a foreign world, suffer difficulties or fear possibilities.
I am you, freed from the village, its soils and ways independent, because I have found myself.
- Muhammad Haji Salleh