What do you buy for a woman who has everything? My close friend was celebrating her 30th birthday and I was in a fix. She has everything- a doting husband who showers her with diamonds and pearls, brilliant kids, luxurious house decorated in white and easy lifestyle. She goes to the gym, does social work, buys beautiful things for her house and comes home on time for her family. No wonder women envy her luck.

So, when I finally bought a gift and took the happy woman out for lunch on her birthday, I was quite disappointed. This quiet woman in front of me was neither happy nor glowing.

"I hate my husband." She told me and I stared at her speechless trying to think of why anybody would hate a man who gave her a diamond bracelet this morning and surprised her with tickets to Hawaii scheduled for next week.

She was one of those women whose desire to make their men happy is so strong, and yet whose self-worth is so low that they soon become a shadow with no identity. When she opens her mouth most often it is her husband's views, thoughts and even phrases coming out. She always wears blue because her husband says that she looks good in blue. There are so many such small things that had changed her life and changed her forever.

What did the dear husbands think in the process? "Life is good and we are a happy family. My wife and I have shared views and she really values my experience." Is that it?

So, if it is such a happy family with shared views, why are so many women after years of marriage starting to resent their husbands like my friend and probably like me in a few years? My friend has given the power to her husband to make her decisions like so many other women. In the long run, resentment and pent up desires surfaced. Wishes that had been buried for a long time started to take root and the woman started hating the one thing that had been the reason for her sacrifices-her husband.

A world renowned family counselor, Martha Hankinson suggests "Stop the resentment before it begins. Stop taking yourself for granted and be proud of who you are. Make small steps in regaining what you have lost. Don't lose your family in the process but let them join in the joy of discovering you".

But, my friend has not yet reached a place where she feels comfortable with herself maybe because she has been a 'nobody' for too long. It is scary for her to take her own decision and she feels lost many times. I am not sure about her feeling for her husband now. She is working on it and yes, she is looking great in white, black and orange these days!