The department of homeland security and immigration and Naturalization Services in collaboration with the Internal Revenue Service have begun issuing Identification Card to Illegal Immigrants.

This came after and INS raid in the capital where a janitor and cook working at the White House were found to be illegal. Upon notification, the president suggested Guantanamo whereas the first lady was more forgiving. It turns our the cook made her favorite dish of Iraqi Sheesh Kabob. The secretary of state, the chief of FBI, along with president George Bush met at the pentagon to go over security measures for letting these illegals with value added to society, be able to feel secure in the US.

The INS is now currently raiding businesses to provide the new identification cards, also known as IV Cards signifying Illegal with Value. There are scattered cases of illegals receiving the INV Cards - also known as Illegals with No Value. After the cards are issued, these IV and INV card holders are supposed to attach their card in a visible place whenever they exit their place of residence. This is so that the law enforcement officials know immediately how to process their cases. The ones found to be illegal without any legal IV or INV identifications will be deported to their place of origin immediately as found by DNA testing. The last 10 illegal inmates found were deported to Syberia after testing positive to Siberian DNA match.

All illegals are urged to apply for their illegal identification cards at a department of motor vehicle DMV near you within 30 days of this notice. You have 90 days grace period thereafter to plead your case.