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Imported Husband
Sharad Chirag
Society was not open when a well known painter of this time, RaginiUpadhyaya married sixteen years ago. A pure Brahmin girl Ragini, who
studied Britain and Germany , gave a wedding reception at Bluestar
hotel but some of her conservative relatives boycutted her marriage.
And the reason was, the bride Albert Grella she chose was not Nepali,
he is from Belgium .
Saranga Shrestha, who had made a good dancer image in Nepali film
industry, married a American guy Reginald E. Harrison, some couples of
years ago there in USA .
Famous Nepali model and the first runner up of miss nepal 2005, Sarah
Gurung engaged some months ago with a Japanese origin guy, Sky Tetsuki
who is doing his business in America.These are some examples which
clears that the Nepalese marriage system is spreading its teritory to
the international level.
There are some rules and regulations that the middle and under middle
class people generally apply for their daughters' marriage. That are –
boy should be from a well cultured family, intellectual, well earned
and should have a house in the capital city or another regional
cities. But now a days Nepalese people are spreading all over the
world for study or other purpose and their identity, culture and
behaviour has changed by time and the locality where they live.
Everyman wants to do somthing new. Wedding trends to different caste, religion, culture and nation are this type of seek of newness,- Pramod Khakurel, a sociologist who has returned from France after a long stay there says. Marriage between Nepalese women and foreign man is like the same kind of newness.
Listen to Ragini- I had a big determination that i must take my own decision about my life.I had my art gallery at Bluestar comlex at that time. Albert Grella, an agricultural engineer, who worked for FAO at that time frequently came to my gallery. That meetings created the situation and we felt in love and we decided to marry.' Her father was from old age but not that much conservative to stop her marriage. Becasue of his green signal the marriage was possible but some of her relatives didn't like her marriage. There must be some problem in such marriage. According to Ragini western influence is high in Nepalese society but still some old traditions have not brokened. That's why there are some problem. 'I havenot any problem because of religion because my husband's family doesn't believe in any religion'-Ragini says-'But my mom was worried because she believed that marriage with a foreigner would break soon. And my mother in law was not happy because I am from another country and an artist ( artist earns little money,she thinks).'
The story of an actor Saranga Shrestha is different. Seeking for bright future she left to America instead of acting Nepalese movies, Saranaga (34) married ten years older American guy who chased after her because of her dance. Why she chose an American? ' Because he is caring and he understand me and my culture'- Saranga told some months ago when she came here in Nepal with her husband for the first time after her marriage.Her family wanted her marriage with a Nepali guy.But she persuaded them that he is nice and suitable for her and her family agree to marry with him considering that their daughter must took a mature decision. Harrison,the real estate businessman of Maryland , USA , wanted to stay here in Nepal but Saranga denied because she thought that the type of work is different here than America and they both went back to USA .Model Sarah Gurung met 29 years old Sky Tetsuki who came in Nepal for garment business. In their second meeting they went to Jay Nepal cinema hall to watch Indian movie Fana. Sky met sarah twice before he went back to America . But when he was America he felt he is in love with sarah then they both talked on phone. After one month he returned back to Nepal and proposed her family for marriage. The Christian family of Sarah, happily agreed but they married according to Hindu culture, because both of them love this culture. Sarah, who went to America recently says that her family supported her and there was no any difficulties in her marriage.
After the successful sixteen years of her marriage what does Ragini Think? 'There are some difficulties in international marriage'- she says-' because of culture, language and lifestyle.' She studied in Britain and Germany , that's why European culture and lifestyle isnot barrier in her case but other women might not have such facilites. Her husband is living in Nepal ( currently working at a road project in Dhangadi). She has a seprate room in her home to pray Hindu god and goddesses. They make Nepalse food in the morning and foreign food in the evening. If any invitation came from any Nepalese to this couple who have a daughter who is reading in seventh standard, Albert hesitate to attend the party. Why? ' He doesn't take a good company.'- Ragini says.But there are not the only happiness in the marriage with a foreigner. Dr. Meena Acharya, was from the first generation who started marriage with foreigner (foreigner means except Indians). To study economics she went to Russia in 1960, gave her heart to a Russian named Victor Aleksevich Sijakov, who was reading the same University but in a law department. Victor stayed with the Nepalese students (one is Dr. Madhav Sharma, present vice chancelor of Tribhuwan University ). Thats why Meena frequently met him and felt in love.When they decided to marry in 1962, they had a problem. At that time if a Nepalese girl marries with foreigner she must left the Nepalese citizenship. In this condition she requested her father who is former prime minister Tanka Prasad Acharya, to help them. Then her father requested King Mahendra (at that time) and they married to keep their passport in the Nepalese Ambassy in Mosco. 'Although my father helped to marry me with Victor, but he was not that much happy'- Meena says. That much efforts didn't work for a long. Her marriage broked in 1976. 'I never liked to live outside Nepal '-she says-' I wanted to stay here in Nepal and he wanted to go in Russia . We have conflict in this matter and we decided to divorce.' But her husband came intelligent. He allow their daughter with her and send money till she finished her school education. 'I don't have any relation with him but he is still in touch with our daughter (who is in USA now)'- she says.
Many people are skeptic to marry with a foreigner because they think that their marriage may not go long. In the urban area of Nepal has already increasing the divorce rate day by day and in this condition those thinkings are normal. According to a sociologist, Pramod Khakurel, those marriage are in verge to break up because of linguistic,cultural, social and sexual understanding. Those foreign gentalman who marries with a Nepalese girl, doesn't take Nepalese citizenship and theire childrens have to stay for a long time to take Nepalese citizenship. 'That's why they are forced to go abroad'- says an advocate Meera Dhungana. She advocates that the government must give them the citizenship by birth. Because of the open society and the easy connection with the foreigner, those types of marriage won't decrese but increase day by day. Thus in the wording of Meera Dhungana, government must loosen the legal criteria for those marriage. http://sharadchirag.blog.com/1981893/