US dear, one think I can tell you that your confused or ambiguous mind can't make decision apparently. You must clean up your confused mentality. Had you been able to fixed your mentality yourself, you would not have come for advices for sure on the Saja forum. You made the right decision to share your feelings and unloading the distraught you have been going through with us. We really appreciate for your courtesy courage. Lets get to the point. I sincerely believe that you should customize your desires and needs. First contemplate issue such as love marriage against arranged marriage. Identify the strength and weakness on both love and arranged marriage subjects. I understand that you have been too busy on spending time to build and develop your Career and Job. From Career and Job perspective, you may be in at your pinnacle but lets not forget about the emotional happiness that is related to family relationship (parents, siblings and relatives) and getting married with loving, caring, understanding, affectionate, loyal, trustful, respectful husband. Since you are 26 yrs old, your parents migth think of you getting older in Nepal but not old for a guy who lives in NZ or US. If you think, you barely got chance in the NZ for meeting the quality man, and then welcome to AMERICA. We have got tons of quality bachelor in the US. Clean up the mess in your head first before deciding for very serious life commitment issue. Good luck US. I Think So