How to Spot an Indian...... . * Everything you eat is savoured with garlic, onions and chillies. * You try and re-use gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminium foil. * You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the airport. * You arrive one or two hours late to a party, and think it's normal. * You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp. * Your toilet has a plastic bowl next to the commode. * All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names. * You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house. * You load up the family car with as many people as possible. * You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch . * You live with your parents even if you are 40 years old. (And they like it that way). * If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel it's your duty to spread the word. * You only make long distance calls after 11pm. * If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight. * When your parents meet Indian for the first time and talk for a few minutes, you soon discover they are your relatives. * Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs while talking. * You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty. * It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people. * You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like. * You're alw ays interested to know/interfere in others' personal matters, what they are doing, where they are going, etc. * You have really enjoyed reading this mail because you know some, or most of them, applies to you!