hey lonley... Life is hard enough without all the problems that you are facing through...but if you try to pretend nothing happened or think it will go away you are wrong...you wrote in because you you know that is true...there are a lot of people,especially women in our society that are going through this every day but they keep it bottled up and pretend nothing is wrong. What they end up is a loveless marriage where they feel empty inside. I know its hard to do anything because of the culture we live in but pretending nothing is wrong will only bring you more pain in the long run...your husband is supposed to be your soulmate....if you are writing to people on the web to express your feelings, there is something wrong with the relationship...... I hope you get through this and i hope you turn back into the person you said you were,,,all the best..