Posted by: BathroomCoffee May 11, 2007
Heteropolitan Men's Teddy Bear Terrrors
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Car Sex Fiend's Exhaustive Confessions British mechanic Chris Donald, 38, owned up to making love to jet skis, motorboats and over 30 cars this week, in a lengthy expose in the Sun. The shameless exhibitionist boasted of bedding Mercedes, BMWs and other marques in his carpeted double garage and claimed he'd developed his fetish from watching 1980s show Knight Rider. "It's all about imagination and creativity," he told the newspaper, "There's more to car love than exhaust pipes. Stroking the body panels and delicate touching makes excellent foreplay." Forensic psychologist Dr Keith Ashcroft told the Sun the condition is 'rare though not something for which he requires treatment', suggesting Dekhyr Dragon's notorious much posted 'Guide to Sex with Cars (for males)' could be being read for more than just intellectual stimulation. "The phrase is sometimes misunderstood to mean sex in a car, and sometimes is greeted with skepticism. How can you have sex with a car? The short answer is, up the tailpipe," Mr Dragon explains in his highly detailed guide, "The tailpipe of the car is, of course, where the exhaust comes out. So in this sense, the tailpipe is an anus." The Sun story also referred to notorious British sex criminal Karl Watkins, who was convicted in 1993 on five counts of outraging public decency, after he was caught being sexually intimate with pavements. Mr Watkins, then 20, was jailed for 18 months after children spotted him lying naked on a pavement with his bare backside moving up and down, and was also found guilty of attempting to make love to an underpass. (Fortean Times) - http://blackroses.textfiles.com/sex/sex-cars.faq Dekhyr Dragon's Guide to Sex with Cars (for males): 'Before having sex with the car, clean the inside of the tailpipe with soap and warm water, as far as you can go. Keep in mind the possibly sharp edge of the tailpipe . . .') - http://www.car-sex-positions.com (Car Sex Position guide) - http://www.highwaysmaintenance.com/design.htm (Pavement design: the idiot's guide to highway maintenance)
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