I think that the main problem here is that you are all alone in a foriegn place with no one to share things with and loneliness gets to the best of us. No human being (except if they have avoidant personality) can live ny themselves with no friends at all for a long time. As silly girl put it, the first thing that you need to do is try to make friends, get active in some student associations and not give yourself long lonesome times where you think about things that depress you. The first step towards acting out with depression is thinking negative and it seems like you are thinking very negatively. If you are havingg suicidal thoughts, it is serious enough to go to a psychologist and it is okay to go. They are there to help you and going to a psych. doesnt mean that you are crazy. Only if you had some social support, i.e friends and the right state of mind, your boy friend's issue would not be bothering you as much and you couls have been able to think straight for a solutiuon. At the end of the day, what really matters is "you". If you feel that your boyfriend is not doing you justice then try to talk it out with him and if he still does not understand, take a break. Tell him that you would like to spend some time by yourself and think things over. You dont have to break up with him immidiately. If the time alone does you good, then you will know that you dont want to be with him. If you feel like he does not treat you right and you will not be hapy with him, it does not matter how long you have been with him, or who in your family knows about him. You need to think of yourself and be able to let go. Sure things will beed bad at first, but in the long run you will be happy. Sorry for the huge lecture, just my 2 cents. But as I see it the first thing you need is friends and then someone to talk to who can actually be physically present in front of you. I seriously hope that you can sort things out.:)