: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? A: Cut the rope. Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? A: Take your foot off his head. Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? A: No? Good! Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum? A: The bucket. Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"? A: There was an empty seat. Q. Where can you find a good lawyer? A. In the cemetary.