You know you are Desi when: * When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent. * There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them. * You make tea in a saucepan. * You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it. * You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes. * You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home. * Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years. * You call an older person you've never met before "uncle". * You hide everything from your parents. * Your mother does everything for you if you are male. * You do all the housework and cooking if you are female. * Your relatives alone could populate a small city. * Everyone is a family friend. * You study law, medicine or engineering at university. * You were thick so you studied computer science or business instead. * You know no one who has studied music. * You went to a university as far away from home as possible. * You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished. * Your best friend got married at the age of 18. * You like the meat well done. * You fight over who pays the dinner bill. * You say you hate Indian films/songs but secretly watch/hear them * You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on". * You secure your baggage with a rope. * You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up. * You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight. * You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family. * You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school. * You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go * When you were little you always wondered why your English friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning * To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid * Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names * You have annoying nicknames like Chotu or Chicku * Your parents call all your friends "Beta" (son/daughter) * Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds * Your parents drink 3 cups of tea a day * Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids. * No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit. * Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/ engineer. _________________ Thanking You: