The cool wind gave froze her naked hands and legs as she tried to stay warm in the middle of the night. For once she thought about going to some one for at least body heat. The thought of some warmth evoked a deep sense of longing inside her and made her eyes shine, but as much as she wanted to be warm, she would not and could not go downstairs. The cool night’s hand caressed her body and sent yet another chill down her spine and she curled up into a ball, fighting to retain her own body heat. This was not something new to her, she had faced worse nights but tonight she did not know if she would win the fight against nature to preserve herself. She was sore and there were drops of blood scattered all over her flimsy skirt. She did not have anything to eat all day and she was raging with fever. She was trying her best to not drift away to unconsciousness because she was scared that she might never return to consciousness again. She tried to think of good times, but failed to recall any moment. Had there been any good times in her short lived life? She was born into poverty, alcoholism and prostitution. As long as she could remember there was a clinging smell of soot and liquor in her clothes and everything around her. Her mother was a petite brunette who accused her for making her lose precious 5 months of her employment. If Mike had not been as nice as he was, Angela would have been born in the middle of the road with dirt all over her naked baby body. No one else in "the shelter" had babies. Precautions had to be taken to assure that there were no extra mouth to feed, but mom's precaution had failed and had resulted into Angela! She should be grateful to Mike, mom always told her, as he was their bread provider. At the age of 5, she could cook, wash the dishes and if needed, she could also wash adult clothes. She would see men come to her mom’s room almost every night but by the time she woke up the next morning, they would already be gone. Sometimes she saw some bruises in her mom’s body. It scared her the first time she had noticed it. She had clung to her mom and cried in horror thinking that something awful was happening to her. In response, mom had grabbed her by the arm and pushed her aside and told her to grow up. Life was harsh; bruises were inevitable if they wanted food in their plates. Angela had never again tried to hug her mom. Sometimes at nights when she had nightmares, she would want to run to her mom for comfort. One day the fear had been unbearable and she could not stop herself from going to her mom’s room. What she saw that night was imprinted in her mind and she started having nightmares about it. Her mother was tied to the bed and was naked. There was an elderly naked man with gray hair torturing her mom and whipping her. He kept shouting at her to say his name and would whip her every time she took his name. Angela had been so astounded that she had shouted at the old man to stop torturing her mom, only to be chastised by her mom and sent out of the room. She did not get anything to eat the other day. Every mistake deserves a punishment, mom said, so punished she was! She was ten years old when she received a blow right on her face. She got up in the morning and proceeded with making breakfast for everyone. She heard sirens outside and wondered what had happened in the neighborhood. Hearing sirens in the neighborhood that she lived in was not a big deal. Someone always got shot, mugged or injured. When the ambulance stopped in front of her home, she did not flinch. Every once in a while, someone would get injured or overdose every now and then and had to be taken to the hospital. She looked out of the window with curiosity over what had happened this time. What she saw overwhelmed her. She dropped everything she had in her hands and ran outside when she saw the bloodied body of her mother being taken to the ambulance. Her customer last night had whipped her so aggressively that she had fainted last night. The customer had left without informing anyone and no one knew how long she laid there and lost blood. Mike shoved Angela out of the way and told her to wait while they took her mom to the hospital. She nodded her head and went back and waited. Every second seemed to be ticking away at snails pace. Miserable thoughts ran inside her head as she waited for any news, but it had been hours and yet no one informed her of anything. It was almost completely dark outside when Mike finally came back. Angela ran to him and asked if her mom was alright, but Mike would not tell her anything. He asked her for some tea and bread and as an obedient child, she went and did her bidding. She waited patiently as Mike ate his food. "What are you going to do now?" Mike asked matter-of-factly. "What do you mean what am I going to do? Mom is going to come back from the hospital and then we are going to continue as we were." "Your mom was 12 when she got into this business, do you want to start?" Mike’s eye never left her face. "I am never going to get into this dirty business. I am going to go away from this place as soon as I am able to," Angela did not fear Mike's anger. "Then I guess you better pack your bags sweet thing." Mike took a toothpick and started poking it through his blackened teeth. "What do you mean? How is Mama? Why aren't you telling me?" she tried her best not to shout at him. She tried her best to remember her mom’s advice of treating Mike nicely. "She is dead sweet thing. The son of a bitch beat her unconscious and left her in there to bleed to death. Her blood pressure was low to begin with so the loss of blood did not help. The blood was draining out of her body for hours." Angela could not believe her ears. She could not believe that this man was telling her that her mom was dead. She would not ever be able to talk to her mom or feel her hand when she combed Angela's hair at times. She would not ever be able to look into those eyes again. Angela would never be able to tell her mom that she had loved her no matter what. Her fantasy of her mom breaking down and admitting how much she loved her would never come true. The only person she had ever loved in the world was no more! "Where is her body?" There was no tremor in her voice or tears in her eyes. "Tough little chit aren't you?”"Mike was still fiddling with the toothpick. "Donated it to the hospital. Who is going to pay for her cremation? Is the wood going to walk out of the forest and ask to be sacrificed on behalf of your slut mother?" Angela could not take it anymore. Her mother had served, pampered and slaved after this man who could talk about mom's death so lightly. He was eating while taking about her mom bleeding to death for heavens sake! Fury as she had never known rose inside her and blinded her eyes. She reached for a knife and carved a big C along Mike's face but she was not fast enough to actually cause serious harm. Mike was too big and fast for her. He lifted her effortlessly and carried her to his room. He threw her in his bed and started thrashing her. With every beating her world became more and more numb until she could not feel a thing. All she could see was her mom's eyes and one of her rare smiles. Mom was gone and she was all alone in this world. She did not know when Mike tore her clothes away. She could not see a thing, could not feel a thing except the stab of something deep within her. The pain blinded her and with each thrust she lost her consciousness, and drifted to a sleep full of dreams. Dreams about her mother smiling at her and telling her that she loved her. Dreams about her mother taking her to the park or to the mall and buying her clothes. Dreams about her mother’s undying love. Dreams of what had not been and what would never be! When she woke up the next morning, she was lying in the terrace all by herself with blood splattered all over her clothes. She had tried to get up and walk but her legs were not strong enough to carry her. Her body was swollen and every fiber of her being was sore. She spent the day drifting in and out of sleep, hoping for someone to come help her. No one had come to her rescue. Her mother might have helped her but she was gone. She closed her eyes and drifted to sleep again, until the cold night's wind woke her up. She shivered and fought for her survival until the demon of sleep overtook her body. ______________________________________________________________________ She was found in the terrace with her eyes closed and her body swollen. Identification of a 10 year old child in a brothel was very difficult as there were no records of the children born there. She might have been a new prostitute who did not survive her first night. As always, the police overlooked anything with the help of Mike's persuasion and money. How important could a 10 year old found in a brothel be? One thing the police could not get over was the smile that was frozen on her face. She looked like a child having a sweet dream while her dead body was carried out the building. Maybe she had ultimately found happiness in her misery.