Dear frineds, Thanks a lot for your concern and kind replies. Today, yesterday, every moment, I tried not to recall her, forget everything about us but it was disastrous attempt every second. Luckily, she replied my mail, when I called up, she was howling, which I clearly noticed. She confessed she is also going through equally hard times. I requested if we could meet for coffee before our final night which unbelievably she denied. Then, she started crying loudly over phone. I pray to God, please do not give her more trauma and pains, she put off her phone down then switched off. That painful moment forced me to recollect our past relationship, the good, bad, sweet, bitter moments we shared within 2 years. Gosh, why I am blurring here in SAJHA, but I realised I felt really comfortable after expressing my hidden feelings with my dear friends, though strangers physically. I never realized her love and passion for me and always asked myself if those were true. She is a unique girl who loves music more than anything, her 70% expenditure includes buying new CDs. Similarly, I also cannot live without it but the fact is we have totally diverse taste. There are only FRANK SINATRA and BOB MARLEY we both like, rest r totally poles apart. Whenever she was in my place, I played my type of easy listening music such as Celine Dion, Green Day, Elton John, Mariah Carrey, Kelly Clarkson, James Blunt, Phill Collins etc. But when I was in her place she always took my permission what kind of music I liked and though she played her taste such as Amy Winehouse, Nat King Cole, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Erykah Badu, Outkast, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Mercury Rev, Zero 7, Nick Drake. I thought it was a minor thing but those small things could cost sometime. Perhaps I never understood her, never respected her taste. More than music, it’s the way how u care your loving one. I also remembered I did not present her anything in last two Valentines, she was the one to wish in early morning, By nature, she is a fragile girl who cries pretty often which I somehow don’t appreciate. Once, when I woke up at middle of night I saw her gazing me and whimpering. I asked the reason “Its nothing” she whispered. After few weeks, I told joking why didn’t she cried these days , it was just a joke to mention that she over cries. But she was totally hurt by my sentence later I apologized . perhaps that was the worst thing a Girl can expect from her Loving one. Instead of trying to wipe her tears, making fun of her emotions. There are innumerable such moments where I acted like a fool, never understood or (try to).. I was too selfish. I shared with my friends how GREAT I was to have a girl who dances on my tune. On the other hand, she had always had appreciation for me, even her parents, elder sister (who is also my friend), encouraged her to be with me as she had told all the good things about me. Alas her lies were true to her family. Now I miss her very badly, I need her, I love her but DESTINY might have something else to do. I have gone very emotional, I have not slept well, nor eaten….I don’t know what’s happening. She replied my SMS after 3 hours and there was something missing, usually her SMS starts with Honey, Love, Babe, Drolling, Prince that concludes with kisses, lots of love, yours little bitch, your small world or so on but today it read like this “ HI, SORRY, I AM REALLY BUSY ON TUESDAY, CANT MEET YOU, see u tom, perhaps for the final time, BYE” I was supposed to go to her place but I requested if she can come here, which she agreed. Im just waiting for WEDNESDAY, she will be in my place and I have total 12 hours. I do not know why I am so curious to meet the girl whom I was meeting for last 2 years, Never been so crazy after anyone like this…I do not know what I will do when I see her….grab, hug, kiss, just see, cry or nothing…… Will it be our last meeting or the beginning of new episode? I wish I could read her mind, I always guess what she might be thinking about this STUPID GUY… On Wednesday night, I will try to act as normal as possible but for sure I have to admit I LOVE HER and will be loving, despite consequences I will reveal the truth, I will admit her to be my loved one. I know she also loves me ( I hope) but no matter, what comes out..IM READY TO FACE it coz Im the main culprit of whole drama.. Life goes on, there are many other things in life which r important to me such as my study, work, parents, my family and so on still I had to agree I cant leave her just like that… On Wednesday night, I am planning to wel come her, with her kind of music, I will deorate room with her choice of colour and, I just took out a paper from my door which read “ ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK” that wd be replaced by something like “WAITING FOR PRINCESS” She loved me like anything and what I gave in return? Tears, pains, suffocations. Though im not bad guy, But with her everything I did was wrong, a blunder. she did not deserve all these, she suffered just because of me. I realized now and yes I love her more than she did before. But, this time, I do not expect anything from her. Just one kiss will be enough because, it is rightly said “EVERYTHING YOU GAVE WILL COME TO YOUR HAND, ONE DAY” Yesterday, when I asked why can’t we meet in coffee shop or in some public place she replied “she needs to cry whole night with me, most probably for the LAST TIME”. Only thing that haunts me every second is last TWO WORDS.