Posted by: sum_off February 23, 2007
SUM_OFF's: TWO STARBUCKS, FOUR STORIES
Login in to Rate this Post:     0       ?        
Juggy – Thank you so very much for the red carpet welcome. You humble me. Sndy – I took a hiatus from Sajha because I felt like I was beginning to take myself too seriously. I could not afford to lose my humor—it’s the most important ingredient of my being. Then, about two weeks ago, bored out of my mind, I came here to see if I was missing anything worth not missing. Hidden in the labyrinth of enormously precious and eloquent threads like ‘Graduate Lady Wanted for Marriage’, ‘Bahun Chor, Newar Jhan Chor’, and ‘Parmendra Bhagat Laai Goli haan’ (I am paraphrasing here), I saw a thread with the last modified login_id ‘sndy’. I clicked on it to see what you were doing here. After all these months, you were still saying nice things about me. That night I came home and started working on the Starbucks story. Because you humble me. You truly humble me. Captain Haddock – You read faster than anyone I know. Seriously. I am not a reader myself. I have been reading Joyce’s Ulysses since 1998, I have not finished it yet. Thank you for the compliment. Bhusan – For all I know, that phone call could be a wrong number from San Francisco. Or, from someone Ravi knew, but didn’t recollect at the time the phone rang. If the story had not ended there, the next line could have been Ravi saying: “Oh, it’s Bhusan,”, or, “Hema, listen, sum_off’s story just ended. He’s calling me.” But PK Upreti and Hema assume that the call came from Saruva or her husband. Or, it was actually from Saruva or her husband. Who knows? The purpose, if you will, was to give a sense of victory to Hema and that of defeat to PK Upreti. Thank you for reading. World_map – Thank you sir (I am saying sir because I have not known many women who are that much into geography). You’re doing a wonderful job with your ‘chautari’—which in my opinion is the most peaceful place in Sajha. Great job there. I go there once in a while … chhahaari muni sittal maa basna man laagchha ke. Nepaliketa12345/Hyperthread/Yacc/Bhaute/Saroj/angeleyes/Hunk_in_Grave – Thank you for the compliment. Mimangsu – Greetings!!! Nice meeting you. I believe this is your first time in my thread. (To answer your question) … Why do I write about women the way I do? Here are two among MANY reasons: Reason # 1 among MANY reasons: A long time ago, in the beginning of my career, I once worked for a woman who still visits me in my nightmares, demanding, “Deliverables are deliverables, that’s why they’re called deliverables. If you can’t produce, don’t commit.” If you have never worked for an ambitious ruthless woman, think of the most ambitious ruthless man you know, and add to that three or four days of PMS. Reason # 2 among MANY reasons: After work, commute, and my TV time, I hardly get 45 minutes a day for things I love to do: one of which is amateurish writing. But every time I start banging my keyboard with my grammatically flawed thoughts, this is what I hear from the family room downstairs: “Ek chhin pani ma sanga time spend gardaina. Ghar aayo, TV, Internet … khai Internet maa ke chha testo.” And if I pretend to ignore that comment … “khai Internet maa ke chha testo.” changes to “khai Internet maa ko chha testo.” So, my new friend Mimangsu, how do you expect me to write good stuff about women while simultaneously tempering the constant nagging from the family room downstairs? If you still remember the story, in the first chapter Hema is very nice. You know why? I wrote that chapter in the afternoon, when that nagging woman (from the living room downstairs) was out for her eyebrow threading. Freak_alien – Thank you for the kind words and for explaining the DVD part to Saroj ji. I did not want to be more graphic than I needed to be. Amber – About the following line in the story: "She could not connect to people because most of the people of her age did not act normal in her presence. She caused lust in men, envy in women. She was a disturbance to both genders." You said: “I just love these lines. How could you understand us (women) so well?” Now, my question to you is: Unless you look like Saruva, how do you know this? I am such a wasted pervert, I actually clicked on your login_id to see if you have updated your picture. Oh, I feel so bad for my poor wife, she seriously thinks that threading does magic on me. I have talked to many guys about this, once you get married, everyone else looks so darn beautiful. I was watching Madeline Albright on CNN a couple of weeks ago, and I was going: “She ain’t that bad.” Tamang Lady – I don’t know why I don’t tell you this often, but you’re one of my favorites in Sajha. Thapap – You’re the nicest person in Sajha. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. Let me tell everyone what kind of person you are … When I posted Ms Pandey’s story last year, thapap thought it was a non-fiction and I was deliberately trying to damage someone’s reputation. So he sent me a very nice email saying that I shouldn’t be doing that. Me being me, I overreacted. Anyone in Sajha, I repeat, anyone in Sajha would have kicked my butt by creating threads like “Sum_off is worse than Soktim” or “Thread for greeting everyone but Sum_off.” But, you know what thapap did? He apologized to me—not once, not twice, but three times. That makes him, in my opinion, the nicest person in Sajha. Hands down. You can tell I am browsing Sajha way too much these days, can’t you? IMI – You are a good-sport, dude. You truly are. It is one of the greatest qualities that a man can have. You can laugh at yourself, you can trivialize yourself, trust me not that many men can. You are smart. I know you understood that in no small part this story is my apology to you. Tyson’s Corner II, huh? My dentist is there. I was there last week. I had my wisdom tooth pulled out, it hurt like hell. Meera – English is not my forte. I have been candid about it many times. That’s why I write simple sentences which even I understand. I want people to remember me for what I say, not for how many Thesaurus-aided words I use, to say what I say. Not just in writing, even when I talk, I’m terrible. I’m so accented, I remember asking myself once, “What did I just say?” My ‘g’ is so thick that it sounds like a ‘z.’ I can’t even correctly pronounce the state I live in. I practice that all night: “Virzinia”, “no, Virginia”, “Virzinia”, “no, Virginia” , “Virzinia”, “no, Virginia” … my wife is so sick and tired of this she wants to move to Maryland. English is incidental in my writings. I write in English because my keyboard does not have Mandarin or Hebrew characters. I want whoever reads me, by the time he or she reads the second sentence, MUST realize that I don’t speak English as my first language. That gives me latitude to tell my accented stories. There I agree with you completely. However, Meera ji, I respectfully disagree with you what you say here: “I would rather read an entertaining piece …” The story was NOT intended to be just an entertainment piece. There’s a little more to that. There’s a fourth story here. What do you think is the fourth story? Now please don’t tell me the fourth story is the whole story, ‘Two Starbucks, Four stories’. That’s what PK Upreti tells Hema; that’s not the correct answer. What do you think is the fourth story? Though you sound like a smart person, if you read the story merely as an entertainment piece, there’s a tiny probability that you misread it. No hard feelings though. Have a great weekend!!! Nepalonmymind/Sunnydev – You two are the biggest reasons I write here. Nobody encourages me as much. For every 10 hours I give you, you guys give me back 10 minutes. That’s all I have been silently begging from everyone. 0__0 – Thank you for the kind words. Bideshi – It is a fiction. Thank you for reading. me_n_onlyme – I am truly honored. Gahugoro – Thank you so much. I have read two or three very talented writers in Sajha. I am sure there are more. mickthesick You have always been very kind to me. Thank you so much. To the rest who read but did not respond – What is the proof that you read it? By the way, did we ever find out where OYS_CHILL is? I’m really worried. Remember, five or six years ago, everyone in America was asking “Who let the dogs out?” Did they ever find out who had let those dogs out? They never keep me in the loop.
Read Full Discussion Thread for this article