Posted by: sadbuttrue January 8, 2007
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Jonny X
Little Johnny's Letter to Santa
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of
December.
Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have
occurred
since the beginning of the month! While filled with illusion I
wrote you a
letter and I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of
rollerblades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying
the
whole year! Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the
best
grades
in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, Santa, there was
no one
in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my
parents, my
brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands
and even
help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I
wouldn't
do for humanity! WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FOOKING YO-YO, A
STUPID
ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE FOOK WERE YOU THINKING,
YOU FAT
SON OF A BITCH? YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FOOKING
YEAR, TO
COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU
HADN'T
FOOKED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ACROSS THE STREET
SO MANY
FOOKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE! PLEASE
DON'T
LET
ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT
YEAR! I'LL
FOOK YOU UP! I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF
YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FOOK AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR
BIG FAT
ASS BACK TO THE NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T
GET ME
THAT FOOKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH!! YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FOK YOU!!
NEXT
YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY FOKING BE...YOU'VE BEEN
SLEEPING
ON A MOTHERFOKER FAR TOO LONG! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU
FAT
BITCH!
Sincerely, Johnny