Hey guys, here are some blonde ones; enjoy it if you haven't heard it already. Question and answer blonde jokes Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: Blow in her ear. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper ****************************************************************** Are You Really Sure? A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something." Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." ****************************************************************** Guess who knows the state capitals? A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'." ********************************************************************** Clean those restrooms On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES." By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms ********************************************************************** Blond medical terminology Artery -- Study of paintings Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U Caesarean section -- District in Rome Cat scan -- Searching for kitty Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her Colic -- Sheep dog Coma -- A punctuation mark Congenital -- Friendly D&C -- Where Washington is Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events Dilate -- To live long Enema -- Not a friend Fester -- Quicker Fibula -- A small lie G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game Grippe -- Suitcase Hangnail -- Coathook Impotent -- Distinguished, well known Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee Labor pain -- Got hurt at work Medical staff -- Doctor's cane Morbid -- Higher offer Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate Node -- Was aware of Outpatient -- Person who had fainted Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis Post operative -- Letter carrier Protein -- Favoring young people Rectum -- It almost killed him Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery Rheumatic -- Amorous Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf Secretion -- Hiding anything Seizure -- Roman emperor Serology -- Study of knighthood Tablet -- Small table Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport Tibia -- Country in North Africa Tumor -- An extra pair Urine -- Opposite of you're out Varicose -- Located nearby Vein -- Conceited