Stoic, since you have garnered enough courage to decide to make this private letter public, I can almost relate everything to myself. The difference is that you have a sister, I have a brother, you have a Mom that you can love, I lost my Mom 2 months ago. And everything else comes just about the same. Except for that lets change, "drowning in drum" to "beating by brush". I still can't really make up the circumstances surrounding why she had to write a long emotional letter to you like this, but I can guess probably that you guys were going through a bad patch. She has said everything, but let me go even further in saying this to you that, its better to go through a bad patch in life, improve the ground realities in life and look into a better future. I would rather be in whatever the world's worst problem is state, than be in this state. Regards, bro.