……And Just like that our relationship was over. Thought we would never meet again but alas life is a non-stop occurrence of unexpected incidents and there she was right in front of me looking more beautiful than I could ever remember her being so beautiful. For a girl who was afraid of flying and swore never to get on one, it was a pleasant surprise to see her thousands of miles away from her hometown of St. Paul where we met as undergrads. I did have chance to slip away and never let her know that I was there but temptation to say hello to one girl whom I had at one time truly loved and who could have been the “one” was just too much. “Sydney is little to far away from Minnesota, isn’t it? I uttered that line into her ear standing right behind her. She turned around slowly and the look on her face could be best described as that of a shock, a little bit of excitement, which as I noticed was quickly engulfed by what I sensed to be a gloom. May be I should have just walked away. I regretted at my decision to revisit the past that was already entombed. “ I thought you were in Nepal” she enquires hugging me. She still smelt the same, heavy on the lavender with faint touch of tropics. Tropics, which I suggested to her after being inspired, I have to confess, by perfume of a stripper during one of those wild weekends spent in Miami. “Yeah I was but now I live in Sydney. Its been over a year now”, I reply “ what are you doing down here? And weren’t you afraid of flying?” “ I got over that fear especially after my fiancée was transferred by his company. Also I realized my fear was irrational and I couldn’t afford to let long distance come in between my relationship, then with a pause she stared right into my eyes and said……..AGAIN. this last word had a strange effect on me. It took me more than a year to get over her and still at that precise moment I hated myself for being a smuck and actually feeling good knowing that she suffered too. I have been called an asshole a lot of time but I realized I was being exactly one at that moment. Good thing it was just in my conscience and through words I could veil my a-holeness and present myself as a decent human being. After exchanging numbers we parted our ways promising to meet at a café the very next day. She was already well into her second margarita when I got there after work the next day. She was stunningly beautiful as ever but the traces of gloom I sensed yesterday was still lingering on her face. I settled myself and ordered a Foster. After brief conversation she announced “ I am leaving tomorrow back to St. Paul. I knew long distance was never gonna work. I was fool enough to give this one a shot. I had always sensed that he was cheating on me and I was right. What’s with you men never being able to put your things in your pants when your lady is not around?” At that moment I was mad at her more than I was sorry for her. I wanted to tell her how much I longed for her and her decision to end our relationship just because I had I had to leave for Nepal for a time being almost broke me. I was a mess. I worshipped her and she just tossed me aside because I wasn’t going to be around for a while. There were times I wished upon her so much bad things that I couldn’t forgive myself later for but I moved on. “You know Neil, the American version of my Nepali name Sunil, I always liked you. If you ever happen to be back in St. Paul, you know where to find me.” That night while driving back to my home montages of happy endings in Indian movies that I grew up watching played endlessly in my mind but I never found myself in any of those pictures embracing my American paramour. Sophie, my 8 month year old daughter as deeply sleeping in her crib and my Aussie wife Sandra whom I met in Patan when she was volunteering there in a school was preparing dinner. Suddenly my mind cleared just when the fog is lifted by glowing sun in a wintry afternoon and I realized………. SECOND CHANCE…….WHAT SECOND CHANCE?……..NO THANKS pearljam.