Just a thought, when u do conversations, I think u sud relax a little and not explain on every single sentence who said what and how that person said it. Sometimes, it seemed to me to interrupt with the flow of the conversations. and maybe in some of the other dialogues, u could use the active verb in place of the passive verb, which u tend to use more often. I also had some difficulty warming up to certain verbs and adjectives, maybe u dont need to use adjectives when u don't need to and maybe the good old 'said' would serve just fine. I bet conversations are more difficult to do than narrations, and u have done an amazing job, although narrating is i would say more your forte. BUT when u see a budding writer use only conversations to sketch the characters and refrain from narrating even a sentence, refrain from patronizing or philosophising, u know you have the making of a genius. To respond to your comment from last time, I am enagaged to an amazing guy, who luckily (very convenient for me) has no clue about literature or my literary inclinations. I come to sajha to read your and John galts pieces.