These are just for fun. Pick out the ones you like and ignore the rest. I found some of them on the internet, others were sent to us by people just like you. If you want to contribute, e-mail us at staff@activelearning.org Half the people you know are below average. In intend to live forever – so far, so good. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there? Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”? How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? I don’t suffer stress. I am a carrier. Only in America Only in America are there handicap-parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America can a pizza get you your house faster than an ambulance Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we don’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place. Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America do use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’. Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering