Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end a fool on the other. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Dictionary: A place where success comes before work. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." Divorce: Future tense of marriage. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. Father: A banker provided by nature. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.