A happy me became the sad me again..as usual..its becomin a habit..lol...today i called her up to know how she is..coz partly i was missin her n partly worried..We talked for about half n hour when she said that she's feeling sleepy.After keeping the phone i sent her a message.and when i gave her a missed cal i found out that she was talking ..with probably her bf..i felt so bad so bad that she lied to me..lied to me as she has done before...and the thing is i cant accuse her of lyin even though i know she's not doing the right thing by lyin...u know how it feels wen the girl tels u that she trusts you more than anything and then at the same time she's hiding things and lyin..this really hurts especially wen u love dat girl...more dan urself A few days ago went to cafe coffee day to take a break...wen a girl was starin at me i felt so afraid so strange..i was happy but i was sad at the same time coz it reminded me all d time both of us (S n me) enjoyed..i jus missed those..at that time i desperately needed her..i wanted to cry..i just wanted to cry..even though i am a man i jus wanted dat..its so pathetic..i jus culdn do dat too..coz my friends were wid me..n i didnt want them to know..didn want them to worry about me...WHY does it have to be me who loves her not someone else..i get up everyday thinkin i dont care about her..everytime i think of her i try to convince myself its jus infatuation or lust...but i cant even force myself as much as i try..i am a loser.whatever i get in my life love wil be one thing i am always goin to lose at.....and i cant do anything about it except watch gettin hurt again n again n again..........