Socialism You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour. Communism You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and gives you some milk. Fascism You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and sells you some milk. Nazism You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you. Bureaucracy You have 2 cows. The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away. Traditional Capitalism You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiples, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. An American Corporation You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead. A French Corporation You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. A Japanese Corporation You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them world-wide. A German Corporation You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves. An Italian Corporation You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch. A Russian Corporation You have two cows. You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A Swiss Corporation You have 5,000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. A Chinese Corporation You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers. An Indian Corporation You have two cows. You worship them. An Irish Corporation You have two cows. You claim government subsidies for eight cows. A British Corporation You have two cows. Both are mad Nepali Corporation You think you have two cows but in reality you don’t have any but you expect the donors to give you a jersey cow. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shree 0 Surya Bdr: Take care of the cows you have otherwise the bulls will attack you from the rear and you loose everything again for the second time. A word from the wise should be enough. Shree 1 Pashupati SJB: I have my ancestral cows but now your cows are mine too. But I cannot take care of my cows like my shed. Shree 2 Shere Bdr: Your two cows are mine. Not to worry: they will be insured (remember when I was PM). They will be given pajeros, life saving expensive drugs (only bills enough), bulls will get pregnant and foreign tours will be organized. They will be happy with me like the corrupt cows around me (who can beat the herd I have). Eventually hand over the herd to the lord. Shree 3 Makune: Your two cows are mine. Now I also want the bulls too according to our party decision. You still have chickens, cats, dogs, rats …. They are mine and my parties. Why? Are you so dumb … this is the wish of the sahid and according to the mandate of Janaaldolan 2 like the previous one. Happy smile. What is good for my party is good for you. Shree 4 Girija: Your two cows are mine. Now go find more cows for the rest of my family and some for my party … after all I have to promote my dynasty to replace the one gone. Even Maoist have proposed me as first President. Dumb commies. I will manipulate for a non-Nepali, young, female, temperamental, corrupt. … but after all a former Koirala – Sujata Jost. Smile. What is good for my family is good for you. Shree 5: No cows in the shed. Shree 6 Pachanda: Your two cows are mine plus the land they stand on. Now you have to work for me to take care of the cows. Plus you have to give informal tax (chanda) to take care of the cows, feed you as labourer, dress you in green and give you a bicycle. Why are you not listening to me? I will kill you Pol Pot style. Laughter. What is good for me is good for you.