I met a, well not met actually, met in pictures and a little bit of messaging, a young exhuberant and truely amazingly beautiful, which is what I feel, I guess. The fact of the matter is, whenever I try to write something, I pause with second thoughts and a lot of questions arises. What if this? What if that? Am I that good? Then I stop. I stop to the point that I open up my email again and try to write something. In the middle of writing this and that, I delete everything. Ah! its not very good at all. I sign out and think, maybe I will drop some words tomorrow. This has been going on for quite sometime. I know I have not been able to concentrate on the work at hand. I put a picture on my desktop. I look at it and shy away. Goddamit, what a beauty. I have actually removed the picture from my desktop wallpaper for the fear of being sublimely stuck in the thoughts. I have a job at hand and I cannot let this slip away. I'm actually in a very important mode in my life. But this is one thing that is bothering me. Do I know the treatment? Probably! I guess, but again, I fear away from being overly pragmatic, or overly unrealistic. I know with such a beauty, one might have been proposed zillions of times. I know that when you think somebody as your true friend and the person then tries to get close, propose, unravel the hidden mysteries, who would not get upset? And that is the last thing I would want. I donot want to make 'em feel that "here goes another one", again. I guess my fear lies in the very same statement of "here goes another one" thing. So, then I think, the good lord might have choosen someone for me. I do know, however, that I am making myself feel "easy". It is not helping. I have been constantly consumed with the thought and picture. Destiny is what I have relied on for too long. I am egotistic, but not for my own benefit, but for the fear of being driven by the statement of "here goes another one". No, I donot want to be the so called "another one". I want to be the "one". The "one and only". Dear Sun Shine, you words are truely amazing. Keep up the love going sweety!