I will have to agree with guzmoon, If you run away from your problems (like going to a different country) you will end up running for the rest of your life. Sometimes things are not meant to be easy. I think you have one major thing under your belt. You seem to have a very good understanding of your present situation and more importantly you don't want this. My suggestion to you is, channel that "hate." Channel that into that energy that's gonna bring you out of this. I am sure there are people who have seen the light after the tunnel. May be talk to them. I think you are in a vulnerable stage. It is very important to choose the right kind of friends at this juncture of life. After you know you have a game plan and if it makes sense to yo, Stick with it!!! Think of it as its your one last chance and there's should be no other way than victory. You will be writing a victory story in this very chat room one day. I will be looking forward to reading that. If you need any help, you can email me through this website. I will do what I can. Cheers, BV