Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter with two men ahead of him. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' the second man asked and was handed a ticket. Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'ikk Punjab female dena!' 'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk. 'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh. Banta Singh saw an exhausted Santa Singh running up to him. 'What happened to you Santaji?' 'There was this nasty big bull in my street that nearly killed me today.' 'Oh really, what happened?' 'I was just walking quietly wearing this red shirt, when the aniimal came charging at me like a locomotive! He almost got me!' 'So, how'd you get away?' 'Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over.' 'That's scary Santaji. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place.' 'Oye! I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?' The traffic policeman stopped the car driver for crossing the traffic signal on a red. 'Didn't you see the red light?' Growled the policeman. 'Yes i did', replied the driver, 'But I didn't see you!' Santa Singh at an interview: Question: What is Ford? Santa: Gaddi!!! Question: Good, what is Oxford? Santa: Bailgaddi! A man was standing in a field alone.He was doing nothing and was looking at nothing. Soon a driver passed by,he got out of the car and went to the man in the field and asked him, 'What are you doing?' The man in the field replied 'They say they give Nobel Prizes to people who are outstanding in their fields.' Once a sardarji calls another sardar on the phone and says 'Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon'. The other sardarji replies 'Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!' Doctor to Sardar: 'Aapka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai!' Sardar: 'Hoga, zaroor hoga! 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!' The sardarji banged his car into another at a crossing. His was not damaged, but the other car was crushed. 'Call me up and tell me how much the repairs cost. I'll pay the bills, ' he told the other driver and started to pull away. 'What is your phone number?' 'It's in the phone book,' the sardarji called back. 'But what's your name?' 'Oh, that's in the phone book, too.' Some tourists in the Punjab Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, Santa Singh 'Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?' Santa replied, 'They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.' 'That's an awfully exact number,' says the tourist. 'How do you know their age so precisely?' Santa answered, 'Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago.' A sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, 'What is that shiny object?' The clerk replies, 'That is a thermos flask.' The sardar then asks, 'What does it do?' The clerk responds, 'It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.' The sardar says, 'I'll take it!' The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks, 'What is that shiny object with you?' He said, 'It's a thermos flask.' The boss then says, 'What does it do?' He replies, 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.' The boss said, 'Wow, what do you have in it?' The sardar replies, 'Two cups of coffee and a coke.' Sardarji was searching for a job but received no calls from India. He did however receive a letter from a foreign company. 'Oye!', he said, 'This is the first time I've applied and Ive got the job... lets celebrate... get the daaru!' 'So how much salary is it sardarji and tell us more about the job!', his friends ask him. 'English main letter aayeaa hai, main tuhanu translate kar ke sunana haaan .. tau suno kya likhya hai..' - You Do not meet - tum to milte hi nahin ho... bahut busy ho! - our requirements - Humhe to bahut zarooorat hai. - no further correspondence - Aage chitthi patri di jarurat nahin hai, jaise bhi ho jaldi se aa jao - will be entertained - Bahut khatir ki jayegi!' Balle! Balle! Question: What happened when two sardars were waiting for buses numbered 1 and 2? Answer: When bus number 12 came, they both climbed on! Sardarji enters kitchen. Opens sugar box, sees, closes. Wife observes. Again he comes, opens sugar box and closes. Wife asks, 'What are you doing?' Saradarji replies, 'Doctor told me to check sugar level regularly.'