Labor Pain Machine ----------------------------A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upontheir arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that wouldtransfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.                          He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much infavor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters,explaining that even 10% would be more pain than the father had everexperienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fineand asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.   The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband wasstill feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and wasamazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%.The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer wasobviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged thedoctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy babywith virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.  When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch. _________________________________________________ Detective Sui
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A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
fall out of tree, not see.
......NO FEE
  _________________________________________________ A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grassby the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out toinvestigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man. "I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "Oh, please come to my house!" "But sir, I have a wife and four children..." "Bring them along!" the rich man said. They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir,you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in." The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house isover three feet tall!"    ______________________________________________ Who's the Boss
---------------------When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.  The brain said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."  The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the sh*t! Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do!
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