1. You can enjoy a beer all month long. 2. Beer stains wash out. 3. You don't have to wine and dine beer. 4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball/soccer/basketball/etc. 5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out. 6. Beer is never late. 7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. 8. Hangovers go away. 9. Beer labels come off without a fight. 10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. 11. Beer never has a headache. 12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents. 13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath. 14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head. 15. A beer always goes down easy. 16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty. 17. You can share a beer with your friends. 18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer. 19. Beer is always wet. 20. Beer doesn't demand equality. 21. You can have a beer in public. 22. A beer doesn't care when you come. 23. A frigid beer is a good beer. 24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good. 25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony. 26. Good beer costs less than good women. 27. A beer doesn't change its mind after you've taken off its top. 28. Beer doesn't expect an hour of foreplay before satisfying you. 29. A beer looks as good in the morning as it did when the bar closed. 30. You can't get thrown in jail for having a beer under the grandstand at halftime. 31. Afterwards, a beer won't feel guilty, cry, propose, call her mother, your ex-wife or her therapist. 32. Beer never bugs you to have little beers. 33. If your preference for a type of beer changes, you don't have to get involved with lawyers. 34. Beers don't want a lasting relationship. 35. A beer doesn't make you sleep onthe couch after you've taken six other beers on a picnic. 36. After you've put your lips to a beer, a beer never asks, "What are you doing?" 37. Finishing a beer in 3 seconds is something to be proud of. 38. You can have a beer on your lunch hour. 39. A beer never wants to stay up afterwards talking about respect. 40. A beer won't slap you in the face for putting it between your legs at a drive-in movie.