First Love-Part II I was desperatley waiting for the safa tempoo to stop at Gaunshala.At chabel the safa tempo got full.I did not know what to do next.I was hoping somebody would drop off at jayabageshwori or Mitrapark....but did not happen so...There she was........waiving her hands for the safaa tempo to stop...but since the tempoo was full.....the driver did not stop the tempoo. I was looking at her continuously till my eyes could reach her.I dont know whether she noticed me or not but I did not care much about that.There I felt happy and sad both...mixed feeling of up and down.I was happy coz i could see her ...I was sad because I could not see her for long.Well I thought it was love...and I enjoyed it too...atleast I have something to think about............I was very very talkative at class those days......my abrupt change from talkativeness to quietness made everybody curious on what was going on.My Economics teacher was like.........What happened to you? Is everything ok at home?(He knew my dad)hows ur dad?I said-Nothing sir.......well I did not care much about their asking...all I cared about was safa tempoo ride....Desperatley waiting for Tuesday Morning...Making plans for Tuesday Morning.. What I am gonna wear,,,,,,,?,How I am gonna comb my hair,,,,,,,How I am gonna talk to her?I used to have answer to all these questions before I went to bed on Monday Night.I did not share my first love or so called crush to anybody...not even my best friend. Days passed............Week passed........ I did not have guts to go to her and express my feelings to her.We used to talk only with eyes...and thats it...I did not even talk to her ......forget about talking...I did not even say "HI" to her...... Deep inside my heart I dont know why I felt she liked me too.I was pretty confident on that she liked me.....I dont know.. no matter how confident I was or no matter how many times our eyes talk to each other...even the months passed... I still could not talk to her.Maybe I was enjoying that...maybe I was afraid this would end if i Express my feelings.. Mybe she will change her way if she thinks I am stalking her.....I was very very negative from my childhood.. Never learnt to be positive and optimistic......I blame on my dad for that..He is so pessimistic...one cannot even imagine.. So am I...no wonder...people say....."Yo yesko bau jastaai chaaa".......... One day I was talking to my friend in the class about feelings, and relationships.....He said something which I liked and thought about doing it.He said there is a tablet which if I use it will have courage to do everything or do anything.At that time I did not know it was nitro-son he was talking about.The next day I gave him Rs20 to get me a file...................yeah...I am gonna bring it....but give me half of it.......I asked him how much do I have to take to have courage...He laughed...one would be ok for u....you are bachaaa in it...I said well..ok.The next day he got me a file of nitro-son ....I tore it into half and gave him half of it......I told him I would try one....right noe...just to see how it feels...He is like ...No..No....dont do that...First time it will hit you hard.....Common what if you get complaints from teacher...u will be screwed...I said ok...so kept the half file in my bag........ To Be Continued................................