Posted by: Kittycat February 2, 2006
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I thought this was funny.. :P
1. She won't unlock car door for him.
-Doesn't engage in oral sex.
2. He gets in car without opening door for her.
-No foreplay.
3. He can't hail a cab.
-Impotent.
4. He insists on going to a brand new restaurant.
-Prefers virgins.
5. She insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way there.
-Is a virgin.
6. He insists on going to a romantic, candlelit restaurant.
-Compulsive Don Juan.
7. He insists on going to a homey little cafe.
-Compulsive Don Quixote.
8. He insists on going to a Polynesian bar.
-Compulsive Don Ho.
9. She wants to go to a French restaurant.
-Will swallow.
10. She wants to go to a deli.
-Won't swallow.
11. She uses Sweet n' Low.
-Wears falsies.
12. She takes too long deciding what to order.
-Has trouble reaching orgasm.
13. She orders salad dressing on the side.
-Will give a hand job, but won't go "all the way".
14. She gives explicit orders to the waiter or waitress.
-Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed.
15. He insists on ordering for you.
-Thinks that you had an orgasm when you didn't.
16. He asks for "the usual".
-Insists on missionary position only.
17. He asks what the specials are.
-Will want you to use handcuffs.
18. He fills up on bread and crackers.
-Premature ejaculator.
19. He doesn't finish everything on the plate.
-Has already cum.
20. He insists on having some of what you ordered.
-Will make you sleep on the wet spot.
21. He changes mind after ordering.
-Will never call you.
22. She changes tables.
-Nymphomaniac.
23. She drinks decaf.
-Fakes orgasm. (Female)
24. He orders in French.
-Fakes potency. (Male)
25. He sends food back.
-Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, and then try to borrow money.
26. She asks for detailed descriptions of the desserts.
-Needs you to talk dirty during sex.
27. He orders a dessert involving ladyfingers.
-Wants a hand job.
28. She orders a dessert involving nuts.
-Castrating bitch.
29. She wants to split dessert.
-Is dying to move in with you and rearrange all your closets.
30. His credit card is refused.
-Low sperm count.
31. He undertips waiter.
-Small penis.
32. He undertips parking valet.
-Small penis.
33. He undertips cabbie.
-Small penis.
34. He uses a toothpick.
-Is trying to tell you size isn't everything.
35. He has a removable cassette player in car.
-Pulls out repeatedly during sex.
36. He has a cellular phone in car.
-Has a penile implant.