MAN vs WOMAN ------------------- SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. STYLE: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. MONEY MANAGEMENT: A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want. HAPPINESS: To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. MARRIAGE DECISIONS: Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed. MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. MEMORIES: A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her. A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry. UNDERSTANDING WOMEN: There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage. WHAT A WOMAN WANTS: Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy... - One is to let her think she is having her own way. - The other is to let her have it. LONGEVITY: Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. MISTAKES: Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing. THE BATTLE: A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument