i hear you about losing yer friend and all. but it really need not be that way, i think. unless one or the other person is excessively irrational (hindi-film style "pyaaar") then just cause you thwart your friends advances (or vice versa) does not mean you're not friends with him anymore. i think. it works out fine even if people are moderately reasonable. heck, even people who're involved for years break up and still remain friends. as i said earlier, to think of women a certain way is just natural to me (and guys like me). i don't do it consciously, it just happens. does not mean things will be expressed. does not mean i will go on and adopt an all or nothing strategy. and something may happen, that's cool. if something does not happen, and one party is embarrassed, things can be worked out. of course, it will be quite uneasy for a few days. but we're humans, we adapt. we can learn to chill.