HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything, FOREVER. RAM Woman: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off. WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her. EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs. SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun! INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access. SERVER Woman: Always busy when you need her. MULTIMEDIA Woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful. CD-ROM Woman: She is always faster and faster. E-MAIL Woman: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense. & VIRUS Woman: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............ ....................................... Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son: Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son : "I will choose my own bride". Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter." Son : "Well, in that case..." Next Jack approaches Bill Gates: Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter." Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry." Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank." Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case..." Finally Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank. Jack: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president." President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need." Jack: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law." President : "Ah, in that case....." ........................... British Airways flight is going to Patna from London. When it gets close to Patna it starts having some kind of trouble. The pilot Contacts the air tower at Patna airport and asks for help: "Patna, this Captain Smith, British Airways flight 007, do you read?" "flight 007, dis iz Patna felight contorol, go ahead" "Patna, this is flight 007, we have a problem" "dis iz Patna, vat kind of peroblem?" "this is flight 007, we have lost power to our engines, please advise" "dis iz Patna, i reed you, peleez check some things for me, ok?" "this is flight 007, go ahead" "dis iz Patna, can you get emergency pover to your engines?" "this is flight 007, negative, no power is available" "dis iz Patna, can you peleez bering your altitutde to 20,000 feet?" "this is flight 007, negative, our wing controls do not respond" "dis iz Patna, can you peleez see if you can lower your veels?" "this is flight 007, negative, landing gears are stuck" "dis is Patna, vould you peleeze repeet thez words after me" "this is flight 007, go ahead" "dis iz Patna, repeat thez words peleeze: RAM NAAM SATYA HEI