I am tired of all these bullshits. Life doesnt seem to be fair anymore after stepped into this country. Struggle and struggle. one tiny little brain and lods of responsibilities. expectatins and more expectations. life seems just running behind hopes. nothing but emty(?) hopes. one day i will have it; one day i will get it. its like dreaming a marcedes in front of your crappy old 90s honda. i will have that one day.let me finish my school. work hard. damn it. tired of carrying these freakin thoughts. A tiny little two legged brain is trying to be perfect in everywhere. Trying to accomodate itself in every little pieces of lives it can have in little time in between its unfair life. wake up every morning promising myself the best, but it becomes stereotype right after the day starts. same old shit. nothing new. go to work; go to school; do your homework. Hey you forgot about your meal time. what the heck. I really forgot cos i was so freaking busy for my other stuffs. As someone already said that trying to maintain everything. one gets degraded when you try try to push other one up. how hard you try to be in lead, you are always lagging behind. sometimes it seems i live in two different worlds, a life living in a constant anxiety and other one a serene world with books and goals. f#@#. its dashain time and i am all alone in my room, drunk almost 3 in the morning. none around! a dead silence. its damn true that the right person comes out you once you are drunk. you throw everything you have inside; nothing drags you behind nomore. no so called "natak" to please everyone. bullshit! thats what is happening to me. well, what the f##. I am enjoying dashain thousands miles away from my family with my Jack and KFC. sorry people. i dont even know what i am writing.it must be stinkier than the sunday night dumpster. f#@$, I am tired today. thanks god, i dont have school tomorrow n no work either. f@#@ who cares. life is not only all about homeworks n books anyways. damn, it getting too long. I can wait to see ppl coming after my bullshit writing. what the heck. i dont give a f###. I am drunk anyways. Good night.