"COMMITMENT PHOBIA" Everytime I hear this word I feel like kicking and screaming. What do these two words really mean? Some time ago I was told that I am a commitment phobic person too. Might be possible, just have never thought about it in that way. People say that if a person is scared at the thought of marriage, or is scared that the relationship s/he is going to get into will choke him/her and take the freedom away, then s/he is a commitment phobic person. Well the situation does not look too good when it is reversed. I have always been scared that the guy I date might be Mr. Wrong. I always looked at his flaws rather than all of his qualities. It was always the fear that he might break my heart and I will be left weeping and crying all by myself. Always feared and always cautious of what might happen. All of a sudden the roles changed and I was distraught. What I feared DID happen. He left me alone. Well not really alone, but he claimed that the commitment phobia that he had did not let him get into a relationship. So what is the thing between us? I dont understand. I have never really considered myself a commitment phobic, just a bit cautious. And now when I see a person so like me, a person who has the same views and who thinks just like me, I am scared to death. Thinking about getting married some day always gave me cold feet, and when he says the same, I am scared of what might be! When he says that he is amazed about how he can stay with 1 person all his life, my worse fear comes true (though I have the same feelings poking at my heart). We are so much alike but so far apart from each other. I always knew what I wanted, but now when I see myself in this deep pit with no way out, I am getting claustrophobic and do not know how to handle the situation. What is the answer? Is there anything called "commitment phobia"? Or does the brain make the heart believe that in no way can it feel belongingness with anyone? I keep looking for a beam of light to enter into the pit, but am afraid that in the long wait for the ray I might lose 'him'-- the main essence of my dilemma!