Just reading these lines above, intersting is that I had met once one boy, who has the similar feeling. I am really not surprised that if someone just feels like beating people and even own brother. It sounds strange, but meeting few men with such strange behaviour of people I convince that everybody has such tendency to think many unnecessary things. As Rajanish wrote: everybody is infact a crazy. Only different in the mad and the normal person is that the normal person filters the thoughts and expresses and shows only the rational one. Where it is different to the mad one, as s/he cannot filter properly. Therefore, it is not unnatural to have such crazy thoughts. Rajanish suggested that if one normal person sit for 10 minutes and note all the thought playing in his/her mind despite any boundry and biasedness, then everybody founds ones crazy. Question here is how we can be more optimizing our thoughts. RuIna, if you are truely serious, I can help you out to some extent.