No Sex In Manchester City Organisers of an erotic festival selling sex aids and fetish gear branded Northern men small minded, sexually inadequate prudes this week, as they were forced to cancel their third annual event due to lack of interest. "Northerners just haven't responded in sufficient numbers," Erotic director Savvas Christodoulou told the Independent. "We thought Manchester was an open minded city but maybe we were wrong," a spokesman added (Reuters). Mr Christodoulou's complaints coincided with the publication of a massive sex survey of 11,000 Brits aged between 16 and 44, which revealed that white men have typically had 6 sexual partners and white women five, compared to Indian and Pakistani women who've had just one partner on average. Sunday Times columnist India Knight greeted the findings with glee, declaring 'one of the more curious effects of living in this peculiar sex saturated age is the belief widely held, that everybody else is having sex all the time. But far from being at it all the time with a broad selection of dishy strangers, it turns out we are 'sweetly, soberly monogamous and rather touchingly old fashioned instead," she sniffed. Meanwhile another survey of 580 teenage Americans (average 14) discovered that one of five self-declared 'virgins' admitted practising oral sex, with many not considering blow jobs and cunnilingus as proper sex at all. "Adolescents do not view oral sex as sex and see oral sex as a way of preserving their virginity while still gaining intimacy and sexual pleasure," paediatrician study chief Bonnie Halpern-Felsher suggested. "Adolescents also believed that oral sex is more acceptable than vaginal sex for adolescents their own age in both dating and non-dating situations, oral sex is less of a threat to their values and beliefs (Reuters). Ms Halpern-Felsher's findings matched those of an earlier survey covered by the Sunday Times in 2002, of 3,000 15-19 year old 'virgin' boys. According to the Times, two thirds of the teenagers admitted practising oral or anal sex, though most didn't realise they risked catching sexually transmitted diseases. Sex Doll Links (Not good for Northerners (OR WORK!!!): http://www.realdolldoctor.com (inflatable doll maintenance and repair advice) http://www.realdoll.com (lifelike dolls) http://www.glowcock.com (dayglo dildos Fire Red, Electric Green, Ice Blue and more: porn star testimonials: 'Hi I'm Summer Sweet and I have found a brand new sweet toy Glow Cock provided by Cyborgtek. It glows in the dark . . WOW. Ooh my gosh!! I couldn't believe it, . . .') http://www.trackidown.net Could Tony Blair Be The Antichrist? Barefoot Doctor: "The antichrist, for all we know, is merely a projection - a splitting off of the dark sides of our own nature onto an easy target so the antichrist, if anywhere, is within. Personally, I am apolitical, except in private as I believe politics in its present form is merely a near defunct remnant of the dying paradigm. A new more authentic form of politics will gradually, but relatively quickly, emerge as the new paradigm progressively takes shape. In the meantime, it doesn't really matter who you vote for - it's all down to whose suit you prefer, since the room to manoeuvre between either of the two main parties, let alone the Libdem, is severely restricted by the globalised nature of economics and geopolitics. The apparent differences between any of the three parties are so miniscule as not to make any real difference in real terms, so as I say, it's down to which suit you prefer. I prefer to expend my energy on helping people in my own way as much as possible, hopefully helping to initiate transformation of society from within. I suspect the shape of politics, as we know it is almost at an end, so have fun voting for whichever plonker you fancy most, just remember it's only a distraction from the real issue - the ecological crisis we are hurtling headlong into which, without serious intervention,will spell the extinction of humankind forever, no matter which party wins."