She hurried to her room and carelessly brushed her hair and applied some kajal to her eyes and rushed to the kitchen. Her mother was already there, stooping down the stove, making some tea. The marble floor and counters gleamed as if they had been waxed and polished. ?Darshan amma,? she had to wish her parents every morning. Amma just looked at her with the sad eyes and as her eyes surveyed Lalita, she thought she saw a gleam of happiness in amma?s eyes. She didn?t know if it was her imagination or real but amma?s eyes had gone alive for a second when she had glanced at her. Amma nodded and went back to her chores. Lalita silently set off to her part of the chores too. She started cooking cauli and dal. It had already been cut and washed by kanchha, but Ba could not stand eating something cooked by kanchha. Either aama or Lalita had to cook daily. It seemed like there was no one in the room and had someone tried, they could hear the ticking of the clock as time passed. It had not been so quiet once. Lalita?s house had been filled with laughter and happiness. Their house had been called heaven by many envious pair of eyes, and it had seemed like nothing would go wrong. There had been no tears or sadness even when they had discovered that amma could no more conceive after the birth of her second child. But that was when it had started. No one knew that the bundle of joy with innocent little eyes would be the cause of their doom. Lalita?s little brother was born when she was 5 years old. The whole household had been outrageously happy. They had all spoilt him bad, fulfilling his every wish and desire. If he had not been adorable with the curly hair and innocent pair of eyes that were carbon copy of Lalita?s twinkling brown eyes, he would have been called a spoilt brat. But no one? simply no one was prone to the charms of the little devil. Once he brought tears to the small eyes, anyone would be willing to move the world to see the sunshine of his smile again. He was in the hearts of all people, no matter who they were or where they came from. Even the people who were famous for not letting a smile show on their face would grin at the tactics of the small devil. Lalita would call him her ?Krishna? as she thought he was like Lord Krishna, mischievous, but in the hearts of all. When he had been 6 years old, the family and the world as a whole had lost the soul to the demon of death. The young little brat had always got what he wanted, so when amma did not provide him with a candy, he had aimlessly run down the road. Amma had tried her best to stop him, but before her very eyes, her son had been run down by a truck. Amma tried to go and get her child, but the truck had reversed and run over him one more time. Taking the last breath away from ?Krishna?. Amma walked to the limp body drenched with blood and put him to her chest. She did not let go until the doctor shouted at her to let go. He had simply been given a tag of ?DOA?- death on arrival. Amma?s eyes had gone sad since that day and she had become silent. The only words amma spoke since that day was a one word answer to the questions she was asked. She had not shed a single tear. Doctors were amazed at her will power and had wondered how she was holding on to her sanity. Ba had handled things differently. He had been in total denial for some days and when the reality sank in, he had blamed amma for everything. He had blamed amma for not giving him the candy, for not holding on to him and also for not preventing the second run through. He had also blamed himself for not being there to save his son. Ba still fulfilled his basic duty as the food provider of the family and that was it. The emotional attachment was over, and it would never return. For Lalita, it was a living hell. Her small world had shattered. The center of her world- her family was no longer there for her. Her parents had turned into walking zombies and ?Krishna? had left her forever. Her studies suffered, she could not concentrate on anything. Try how much ever she might, she could not act like an adult and keep her emotions intact. She would wake up at nights with cold sweat on her brow and would be panicky with nightmares about Krishna calling her to him. In the beginnings she had run to amma for comfort. But later when she realized that amma was not a big help, she would tuck herself to bed with the blankets wrapped around her and a teddy tightly held to her chest. Slowly the nightmares started subsiding and she started getting out of her distress. Her friends were always there for her and in an effort to heal, she started devoting her time and attention to her studies. It was not long before she topped all her classes and was given the name of the most intelligent student in class. Her mother had awarded her with a smile, while her father had carelessly browsed the report card and then shoved it away from sight. He had told her that she was doing good, but there was no affectionate tone in his voice. Lalita could have killed to hear her dad say that he was proud of her. But the words never came? she waited and waited and was waiting even that very day. She slowly wiped the tear that betrayed her every now and then by coming to her eyes uninvited. She walked to the table and served Ba the food, which he accepted and ate wordlessly. Amma and Lalita ate later and as the clock stroke 10:30 Lalita rushed to go to her first day at college. She prayed that no one would make fun of her clothes and that everything would go smoothly. There were butterflies on her stomach as she walked out of her home. ?God please make this a new beginning? she prayed as she made her way to college.