beleive it or not i gave up on the idea of suciding after my 21st failed attempt to do so..beleive it or not death doesn't come easy baby even if you want it to..so i guess i'm still alive ..hehhe.. the train stopped, the pills digested, i became a supergirl when trying to jump off, the car driver thought i was too pretty to be killed, all sorts of drugs..my immmunity grew stronger, i floated in waters 30 ft deep..I guess i will live eternity, as for longing for heaven or hell after death i decide each day how i am going to live...,...and i guess most people do it anyway ..i learnt the hard way...and guess what i kinda wanna make my life longer thesedays..