its ironic being fearful and fearless at the same moment...the nigerian was the greatest politician of all times and my buddy now..i had enslaved myself to serving the dying aids destitutes of Africa...each day i counted heads to find out who survived the previous night.. then i gone down to brazil to count the heads of cocaine users and in india to count the heads of nepalese prostitutes..i had become quite a counter by now..was i working for yamaraj as a part time death counter? funny but it seemed as such... you are so good at counting why don't you help count the grey langoors in himalayas..one pointed..the postion of counting haunted me by now...i wanted the figures to be analyaed, changed , and erased from the database..IT specialist, mba , doctorial did not make me any better than what i was in LKG..1+1+1+1.. shyiath and i enacted all pages of kamsutra that night...if counting wasn't enuf.i had started dividing my sexlife by my non-sexlife..the number of times ron called * the number of times i regretted not marrying him..the number of times i was to be home in nepal - the carribean cruises that i landed....if anything after going to the temple i wud dip myself in a tumbler of strawberry margarita...the fine line between the sinner and the angel grew thinner as i aged... the way of living instead growing sturdy womanish marks onmy face presented a glow of a 12 yr old baby..which i resented by now..if anything i wud walk up the himalayas for fresh air..i was the underdog of all the underdogs..the editor of a short story..the puppet in a theatre, the muse for a change in life...and my once vanished stardom started to rock me hard...i was being benign to the point of no return....