Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A: It scares the heck out of the dog. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: Blow in her ear. Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper ============================ A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something." Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." ======================================= A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice. When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there". So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there. So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde. So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes." ======================================= A Sardar reports for his university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallete out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously. During the last few minutes, He is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is happening. "I finished the exam in a half hour," he replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers." ============================ A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter. "I'm here for the paint job," she said. "Alright," said the man. "Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house." The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating. After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a porsche out back. It's a new BMW.

ruina sis great ones i do like that santabanta too. Kool site

smart dog(fido) A boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. "Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?" Then he gets an idea. He calls his father. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!" "That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?" "Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks. "Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!" "READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." ...And his father sends the money. At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets home, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he gives the dog away. When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Fido? I just can't wait to hear him talk and listen to him read something!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'" The father says, "Oh, shit; I hope you SHOT that lyin' dog!!! "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!"

badarni sis.............>>>>thank u:) lob u hehe

Hi Ruina, Happy New Year! I actually found the "he ha ha ha..." on the thread title funny! :)

sitara di:) hajur pani ....hehe thank u happy new year!

Ruina sis your are most welcome lob you too.

phun tyme>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai. "Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor. The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two! "What a feat!" said the Emperor. "Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do." The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered! "That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?" Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around! In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead." "Dead is easy." replied the Jewish Samurai. "Circumcision...now that takes skill!" ***************************************************************** A man goes to get his salary cheque and when he opens it he discovers that his employer has overpaid him by Rs.200. He decides not to tell anybody and keeps quiet. At the end of the following month when he opens the cheque, he sees that he's been underpaid by Rs.200. Fuming, he goes to have it out with his employer. 'Sir, I think you've made a mistake on my cheque.' 'And how do you figure that? his employer asks. 'It seems I've been underpaid by Rs.200.' 'Ja, so?' 'No disrespect Sir, but I want my money.' 'Last month I overpaid you by Rs.200 and you didn't complain so why now? 'Well Sir, thing is I don't mind if you make a mistake once but if it becomes a habit I have to say something' _________________

NIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice ones ruina. Tyo first one was nice. tara ali technical word bhayo kya. heheheheheh.....................................c wat i mean. malai ta joke khojna pani aalchi laagyo aba ta. Dikka lagi sakyo. OK guys, aba ma chai silet reader yo thread ko kya. hehehehehehe Have a great day/ night, make ur own choice hai. harkeDai

:)ohhhhhhhhhhhh A sardar saw a beautiful girl.....he went and kissed her..... Girl Said: What r u doing? Sardar said: B.Com from Khalsa College, Chandigarh *************************************************************** A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you? The husband laughs and says: An English girl !!! The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: So, honey, how was the trip? Very good, thank you. And, what happened to my present? Which present? what I asked for, the English girl?! Oh, that! Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if its a girl !!!***************************************************************** Laloo Prasadji decides that he is a very popular and famous person, and like all famous persons, there should be a postage stamp issued in his honour. So he orders Rabri Deviji,"Arre hammar photoo wala stamp nikalo." Rabri ji obediently calls all the ministers and officers concerned, tells them to get a postage stamp with Laloo ji's photooo on it designed by the best design house, printed on the best paper, applied with the best gum...after all, Lalooji ka stamp hai. The stamp is made, and released with much fanfare. However, Lalooji starts receiving complaints about it soon...people say the stamp doesnt stick!! Lalooji is furious,"Hum kahe the ki accha stamp banao..". All officials run helter skelter to find out whats wrong, and finally report back to Rabri devi, "Madam, the paper and gum are definitely of the best quality. In fact, even the printing is great - the photo resembles Lalooji exactly. The problem is, people are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp!! *************************************************************** Laloo Prasadji decides that he is a very popular and famous person, and like all famous persons, there should be a postage stamp issued in his honour. So he orders Rabri Deviji,"Arre hammar photoo wala stamp nikalo." Rabri ji obediently calls all the ministers and officers concerned, tells them to get a postage stamp with Laloo ji's photooo on it designed by the best design house, printed on the best paper, applied with the best gum...after all, Lalooji ka stamp hai. The stamp is made, and released with much fanfare. However, Lalooji starts receiving complaints about it soon...people say the stamp doesnt stick!! Lalooji is furious,"Hum kahe the ki accha stamp banao..". All officials run helter skelter to find out whats wrong, and finally report back to Rabri devi, "Madam, the paper and gum are definitely of the best quality. In fact, even the printing is great - the photo resembles Lalooji exactly. The problem is, people are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp!! _________________ no techniqal words:)

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone. Are you choking? No, I really did! Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop! Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil ?till I get there Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell? Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu! Didn't I see you yesterday? Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something? Yes - here's a kite! Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?! Stick your foot out and trip it up! Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot. Don't worry it's just a chain reaction! Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee Buzz off can't you see I'm busy? Doctor these pills you gave me for BO... What's wrong with them? They keep slipping out from under my arms! Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage. Don't talk rubbish! Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep. That's baaaaaaaaaad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So why did you come around then? Well, I saw this light at the window...! Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee Have you tried taking the spoon out? Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon! Well sit still and don't stir! Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later. Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache? Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache. Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me One at a time please Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots? I never make rash promises! Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito Go away, sucker! Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take one of these every 4 laps! Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible! What sister? Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear, that's a lot of calories! Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion? Of course, come back tomorrow! Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out! Certainly, which way did you come in? Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God When did this start? Well first I created the sun, then the earth... Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I?m invisible Who said that? Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed it's skin. Why don't you go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable then! Doctor: You need new glasses Patient: How do you know?, I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell! Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple. We must get to the core of this! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a butterfly Will you say what you mean and stop flitting about! Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling up! Just simmer down! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder Great, can you help me with my accounts then please Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold Don't worry it's just a gilt complex! Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places Well don't go back there again then! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog. How long have you felt like this? Ever since I was a puppy! Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog Your just playing too much croquet! Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo. Are you stringing me along! Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do? Saw the legs off of your bed! ************************************************** Dherai bhayo, maamu le gaali garnu bho malai ta, joke padhera baseko bhanera, aba maamu le bhannu bhako school ko book pani padhnu parcha re, kya, la ma gaye aba mero school ko book padhna lai. sssssssssssssssssssssssssss, ma class ma gayera sutchu bhanera maamu lai bhaneko chaina kya maile .hehehehehehehe

Ek samaya ma shiva ji prithivi ma aauna maan lagera tala jharnu bhaya chha. Jada Jada uha Dharan pugnu bhayachha. Tyahaa kehi keta haru Ganja tanera basi raheko dekhi uha samunne ma gayara bhannu bhayachha "yaar malai pani ek pop deuna" Keta harule shivaji lai Chinenan ra , la lau tara tanera thulo kura chai garne hoina ni bhane chhan. Shivaji le hunchha bhanera Ganja tanna lagnu bhaya chha. Kehi chhin pachhi uha le sochnu baya chha aaba keta haru lai satya kura bhannu paryo Aani uha le bhannu bhaya chha keta haru ma ta Kailash bata aayako deuta Shiva hu ni. Teti sune ra aauta keta le risayara jhatta bhanechha ma ta aagi bhandai thiya ni na kha bhanera khai halyo aaba big talk dina suru garyo.

Tapai haru le Daure ra bancharo ko katha ta padi saknu bhaya ko hola pathya pustak ma tara aaba ma lovi manchhe ko katha tehi para ma sunaudai chhu. Aauta lovi le yaahi katha sune ko rahe chha ra ek din dherai paaune aasa ma usle aauta ghar ma bhayako kukhura lagera talau ma khase le chha. kurda kurda panni jal devata aafno khkhura ko satta kehi paani na liyara aaya paachhi lovi dive hanera talau ma ham phale chha. Taba usle dekha chha ke bhhane Jal Devta ta khkhura najikai banera masala phidhi raha nu bhaya ko rahechha.