REAL technical NIGHTMARES... Tech Support: What is your User Name? Customer: John Smith. Tech Support: (searching for user name johnsmith to no avail) that's your user name, your login? The one your account uses? Customer: Yep. Tech Support: So, John Smith is the user name for your account? Customer: Yep. Tech Support: .. (search for customer account by last name, find a million Smiths.. finally finds account.) We have your user name listed as "wolf231". Customer: Yep. Tech Support: Not John Smith. Customer: Yep. Tech Support: ... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: What error message are you getting? Customer: I'm not getting an error, it just won't connect. Tech Support: Nothing comes up when you try to connect? Customer: Nope, nothing happens at all. It doesn't say anything. Tech Support: .. and nothing appears on the screen whatsoever? Customer: Nope. Tech Support: Well.. What happens to lead you to believe that it isn't working? Customer: It says Error 691, User Name or Password ... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Tech Support: Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "What do you mean?" Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop. Customer: Ok. Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu? Customer: No. Tech Support: Ok. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu? Customer: Not at all. Tech Support: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point? Customer: Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote down 'click' Tech Support: Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard? Customer: Yes. Oh man! I've done something stupid, huh?