Some more : Laloo Yadav s car is driving along a backcountry road on the way back to Patna, when all of a sudden a piglet jumps out in front of the car. The piglet dies on the spot. Laloo, upset, tells the chauffeur to go find the owner of the piglet so that he can pay the damages. The driver is gone for two hours and when he comes back, he has a bag full of money, and a wondering look on his face. Laloo wants to know what happened. The driver tells him "Hum jab gaanv me pahuncha to dekha kuchh log ped ke niche baithe hain. Jub hum unko bataya ki kya hua hai, tab sare log jama ho gaye. Humko laga ki aaj to hamari pitayee hogee. Par hum dekha ki sare log paisa jama kar rahe hain. Hum socha ki ye sara piasa wo janvar ke malik ke liye hai. Par un logo ne saara paisa hamein de diya." Laloo says "Sasoor ka natee, Theek theek batao. Tum unko kya bola tha?" The driver replies "Hum kaha ki hum Laloo Yadav ka driver hoon aur hum sooar ka bachcha ko maar diya hoon ____________________________________________________________ Passengers on a plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilot uniforms. Both are wearing dark glasses. One is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start. The passengers begin glancing nervously, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, screams of panic fill the cabin. But at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Joe, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die." __________________________________________________________________ Late one Sunday afternoon, a blonde from a small town was taking a long walk through a nearby meadow when she was surprised to see a parachutist trapped in the high branches of a tree. "Hellllllp!" he cried when he spotted her down below. "What are you doing up there?" she called back. "I was skydiving," he answered, "and my parachute didn't open!" The blonde rolled her eyes. "Well, of course it didn't. If you'd just asked one of the locals, anybody could've told you that *nothing* around here opens on a Sunday!" ________________________________________________________________ A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mum, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square? ___________________________________________________________________ One day Gramma sent her grandson little Johnnie down to the water hole to get some water to cook dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. "Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?" Gramma asked him. "I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" exclaimed Johnnie. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnnie. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnnie, "if he's as scared as I am, then that water ain't fit to drink!" _____________________________________________________________ AND LAST ONE FOR TODAY ********************** A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?" First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray, or black." A second little boy says, "Trees are definitely green." "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown." Then little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?" The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!" "OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants!" ********************************************************* Now its time for me to go to class (very unusual) and sit at the last bench (pretty much usual) and sleep (very very much usual). Nothing new hapening today. All of u have a nice day sleeping in the class kya. harkeDai