Having arrived in United States after 9/11 created a series of fateful events?.starting from a frisk and almost being stripped at San Francisco international airport and ending at the cold stares from the hillbillies in Illinois. Life wasn?t all same for every Asian in United States. Getting into a graduate program at a modest school in Illinois was not difficult?.what was difficult was?to befriend local people, who, at the every moment reminded me, I was an alien. It was not discrimination?.at least I would not say that?.possibly ignorance?having always heard little about Asians?they all summed up me being a kin to Bin Laden. Even the officer who issued me a driver?s license double checked my status. But gradually the ice began to melt, both on the window panes and in the hearts of the people. By the end of spring, I had made a few good friends. One of them was Tara, who looked like Kelly Clarkson gone wrong, a big loud country girl who smoked joint more than Bob Marley and Snoop Dogg combined. I sometimes took deep drags with her?.almost forgetting my mom saying ?babu?yeta uta nagaresh ni?. Now that I had certainly done ?yeta uta?, I used to come home with a long face, sat myself down and studied for hours as if it would make up for what I had done earlier. Tara was fun, so was Nick and Jessica and Sarah?.we played country songs at full blast in Tara?s yard?sat on a tailgate of an unknown truck sipping Miller Lite and singing ?American pie? at the top of our lungs. We thought Charlie Daniels was great, Tim McGraw was greater and Don Mclean the greatest?. all my U2 and Sting days were over. I was yet another hillbilly in Midwest, Although half the time I wondered ?What am I doing in Charleston, Illinois?? I was always on top of the studies?.the effortless program of technology management were not as intricate as arduous differential equations of chemical engineering. Thanks to my gruesome days in the engineering school in Orissa, I was at least regarded as a first class student in America. My professors admired me, but grimaced seeing me coming out of a local nightclub uttering invectives. Life went on?.John_Galt the redneck wannabee was enjoying every moment until all of a sudden I hear a voice ?John?you are married right?? Ahem?. Now what does that mean? I never slept with anyone?.lord Krishna knows it all?.oops!!?wrong god?.should have said Brahma, or Jesus?or just any goddamn god. But yes?.I never slept with any other female?.never?.no way. I always know where to draw a line. Believe me or faint?I am tired of repeating this over and over. And who would ever I sleep with? Tara??? I would not touch her with a ten foot pole, Sarah was far too pretty to be touched by a guy like me and Jessica?although pretty?slept with jesus in her dreams rather than me in her arms. And then Nick was always there to outsmart me with it came to cooing girls?but why am I even saying this?I did not sleep?and I am never going to?period!!! But all of a sudden my married life seemed to trouble me, not that I regretted I was married but I had to find a way to outwit those vultures in lazimpat to get my wife here. I was a grad assistant and had a 4.0 alright, but then there were stories of high profile people being denied a visa which intimidated me more than baby ghost shamara. Stragtegies were planned, documents were created - scrutinized by the best so called immigration pundits? and thank lord Krishna (again???)?.. my wife arrived in a cold October morning at St. Louis, Missouri. I was so happy I could have strip teased in a gay bar. There was a grand party?. of course?..shamelessly inundated with beer and vodka and some other drinks which I paid for?but never saw. And for the first time in my life?in acute inebriation, I made a resolution that I was giving up drinking forever. Well?my resolutions never last?and this one was no different?but at least I cut down on drinking?and went cold turkey on smoking. I have been in complete abstinence of tobacco products ever since?.and people find it hard to believe that I was actually a quality engineer in Philip Morris Asia Ltd for a couple of years. Digressions aside, I graduated with excellent grades, but my graduation was not as eventful as Sitara or others, future was precarious because uncle Sam was never so broke. But then I made a weird decision, in fact two weird decisions. First, I made my wife pregnant, and second, I made up my mind to move to Alabama for another masters?this time in chemical engineering. Yeah right! A Midwest hillbilly moving south?.rednecks could not ask for more. All I needed was a confederate bandana. I am in Alabama now, speaking southern draw and dancing in the tunes of ?Sweet home Alabama?, I can now see why Miss Witherspoon liked this place so much. I might settle down here if given a job. After all, south ain?t that bad.