i missed a "to" between "so" and "really." it's interesting how one word can change the tone and meaning. now as far as the yoga mat is concerned, if i lend it to you, the continuity of my own practice will be broken. as much as i would like to spare your pillow from heart rending sobs, my own welbeing comes first. you can prolly get a decent one for a few bucks. after all, it's a small price to pay for becoming clear and level headed.