I hope it does not confuses anyone. Lekhda lekhdai je samjhana deemag ma ayoo tyai pahila lekhdaichu. Maanilinus Kitab haru paltauda pana haru titaar bitaar bhayechan. ************************************************************* I don't like the friends you hang out with. They look weird & scary." She would say. "Comon' now. They are fine." I would say. "Every time few of your friends come I can smell marijuana and I know they take more than that. Most of them look high or weird." -- She. (She would over generalize) "So ? I mean common. I don't even go out much at night after you leave. And sometimes they do. I don?t know. I don?t." -- Me. Often we used to have small talks like these. She never forced me to quit my friends. And I never gave her ?enough? reason to. Nevertheless, she liked my group (Nepalese). ***************************************************************** I took a deep breath. Rehearsed my line well. And knocked on the door. Not theirs. Mine. I meant my ex- apartment. A guy in late twenties open the door. I said, "Some of my friends used to stay here from Nepal last year. I thought they still lived here." He said, "I think they did, but we have been living in this place from past three months. Sorry." I tried to catch a glimpse inside. I could see they had painted the walls. Gone were those frames, those posters and they had changed the glass in the French window which 'I think' one of us broke. It looked different. Indeed everything has changed. The ghost of our memories no longer lived there. As I turned back to leave. I could see the stairs that lead up to the rooftop. The door to the rooftop used to be always closed. But we would climb on top. She used to be amazingly flexible. Often we used to sit on that stairs. Talking about everything, and then nothing. For hours. Suddenly I remembered the last time we sat there. Her long silky hair almost hiding her face, with tears flowing and I with my head hung below. Both trying to say something cheerful and encouraging. Alas all I could say was, "everybody deserves a second chance and you know I do". With tears flowing she had said, "You do 'indi', you do." I guess I never took that second chance or she never gave me one. Having thrown away my first, a second was something she was unwilling to give. Or she did. Or perhaps time had passed us by. I sat exactly where I did then and looked beside me. I could see her. And then I lost. I smiled. I felt a lump building inside my chest. I got up and saw that place for one last time, knowing I would never see that place again. It is weird how strange places have emotional attachment with you. Or maybe I had the 'infamous potion' too much. *******************************************************************