My experience has given me a better perspective on this issue. I'll summarize my thesis with just one sentence, and just so the moderator finds my remark lewd and vulgar, I'll rely mostly on euphemisms to support my argument. So, in one sentence, a girl wants a big, shapely, horse-hung muchacho. Now, to expand, she will like it when a BIG, 6' Nepali STUDS teabags her. She loves a hairy chested, big-boned, chicken-legged, bow-legged, cross-eyed, scar-faced, pussified, sissified,mustachoed man, oozing with what he deems to be his mojo, who doesn't just FLAUNT his sexual PROWESS, but delivers in BED as well. Now to all the gents listening to me, remember, women don't *moan* just for the helluvit. They moan when you hit the right spots. Master the art of cunnilingus, and she'll master the ancient art of FELLATIO, as elucidated in the sacred texts of the Kamasutra. Want her to put your pogo-stick in her pie-hole? Then try to please her first. Show her what you're made of. And remember, NO VASELINE. It's about the pain, baby. Women love to be tortured and treated like crap. Remember boys, slap her around and show her who the master of the domain is. Make her your *gimp* and not the other way around. If she starts to cry, whine, and moan, a knuckle sandwich in the face might be an effective way to put things in perspective. She needs to respect you, and the fact of the matter is, that's what she wants anyway! So you aren't really doing her any harm, you're just *giving* her what she wants. In return, she has a special recipe to satiate your taste-buds. She will make you a deep-dish duck wang(the word I was going to use was d*ck, but in fear of being censored, I use the euphemism instead)on a bed of penguin a$$holes(alright, I couldn't think of a better word), topped with her vaginal secretion and menstrual blood, for kicks.