Birkhey mula! Dhet! To start with, it's a problem of communication gap! It is rather common in us Nepalis that we are not good communicators in relationships, be it between bf-gf, parents-children, siblings, friends, etc. We tend to ASSUME that the other person understands our feelings and knows our wants, and find ourselves utterly dumbfounded when things do not go as we would have liked it, sometimes letting bitterness overwhelm our minds too. You should have let her know of your job offer and, more than that, should have been OPEN to her about your intentions, dilemmas, and problems right from the very beginning. Well, she should have reciprocated too, but that's besides the point here. If both of you could have been more open to eachother and comunicated better, regardless of how bitter some facts may have been, it would have been much easier for both of you to swallow the bitter pill when it was time. Nevertheless, what has happened has happened, and, as I said above, since poor communications in US Nepalis (and many oher Asians, may I add) is very common, and since you already are finding her changing, ther is no point in fretting about your failures, although you might want to be more assertive in the future in terms of communicating your thoughts in the future. Now, however, comes the problem of resolving the conflict. Once again, 1. talk to her openly 2. do not assume, even when it seems obvious 3. let her know of EVERYTHING that's in your mind 4. urge her to be more open too, so that you will also know what is in her mind 5. refrain from being bitter when disagreemetns arise finally, 6. if things work out, great! If not, move on, yaar! You will not be the only person in this whole wide world who would have been in similar undesirable situations. Trust me, many, many of us, if not all, have been through times like these at one time or another. This will not mean the end of the world for you, for it hasn't meant so for every other person who has been through it. You two may not end up together, but both of you would have found another love in no time if you are willing to overcome the misfortune, which YOU MUST! Most of all, birkhey dai, remember NOT to be bitter towards her for her desire not to come to the US to be with you. First of all, she did not, and does not know of your safcrificing the new job offer; secondly, even if she did, she has the inalienable right to fend for herself. It [her decision] might have seemed rather selfish to you, but let's be honest: In the end, it all comes down to what you, or her, or anyone else want for him/her self -- we all only live happily as long as we live for ourselves. I know some sacrifices and compromises are helpful in relationships, but when these virtues of relationships cannot be realized, UNDERSTANDING is the virtue that should/must over ride anything else. UNDERSTANDING and RESPECTING eachother's desires, ways and wants are the ONLY path to peaceful and happy living, both internally in your mind, and externally in your dealings with others.