I have not been here for too long, but life has changed so much its sometimes hard to cope with. For those who can afford to be supported by their parents, its a whole new story. For those who are here to escape Nepal and taste freedom....its another story.I am serious about my studies and i wanna see myself somewhere, someday. But i am frustated at how my options are so limited. I do realize i am not a responsiblity of the US government. But why are we treated so differently, when all we are here for is a purpose to gain knowledge? The instate fee is 1/3 of what i pay and on top of that i have no rights to work legally.Thew whole Visa system is a joke. There is no distinct demarkations as to who should and should not qualify. Now its reached to a point where i met the guy from my class who failed the 12th grade. He didn't come here to study and now he is amist total chaos. So am i. Its been hard keeping good grades and making some money to pay for those grades. I feel pity for these immature kids who just get their taste of hardship and reality, raw. I lived a hard life (Financially) but it has matured me and taught me how little is enough. I have met people who have been in the same freakin' school(Community) for over 3 years...Gotddamm..freaks. You see they do not care....got jobs ...making $7 an hour or more. Where are we heading? Are Gas Stations and Fast Freakin Food all that a Neplai can do? NO i do not buy that. I have the skills and the knowledge and people who have none of that make more money and live a better life. Life is unfair. And whats with the Lottery thing. I hate it. And people so readily hop into a plane and get here clueless to reality. Let me give you'll an example. An aquintance of mine who worked in a NGO funded by Germany (**z) made a handsome living , got married had a kids and BAM ....DV paryo...la hina amrica. NOw what does he do.? NOthing....Jobless....his likelyhood of scoring here Zero. The farthest he could get was Fry's Electronics. But again HOPE..bloody hope and dreamz Kill us.Who does not want a Future? I am no different i am a sick diseased HOPE freak. I know there is a why and i will find it. But i feel so angry at why these hard thruth or facts of how life actually is in Us does not reach the people back home. Had i know how it actually is , may be my decisions would have been different. When some of my friends mail me asking how i am doing? I tell them the truth. If you think u should come go on....but the reality is blah blah blah...tell them... anyway enough of my rant and rave...I just needed a place to let it out....